Replies to Wedding Buttinskies

OK, we've all had to listen to them.  Well meant comments, be they from family, friends or almost total strangers, who are trying to hijack your wedding and turn it into theirs.  On a day I'm feeling charitable, I chant to myself  'they mean well, they mean well, they mean well...' and smile. But some days a reply is called for.  Not a rude reply...just putting them on notice that this is YOUR wedding not theirs.

Reply Suggestions:

"I'm so flattered you felt close enough to me to share your thoughts on my wedding with me.  I just love hearing all the different ideas my friends and family have for weddings!  I wouldn't feel right using your fabulous idea for my wedding when I'm sure you'll want to use it for your own (or your daughter's etc.) I'm sure you'll be thrilled to see what Joe and I have come up with for our own wedding."

"Thanks for all the thought you've put into planning our wedding.  Joe and I have decided to take our plans in a different direction but we want you to know how much we appreciate your valuable input. We can't wait to have you celebrate this special occasion with us."

"I'm was sorry to hear from Mom you're upset about our decision to (....fill in the complaint) at our wedding.  I hope you know Joe and I put a lot of time and serious thought into planning our wedding so that it's a reflection of our loving relationship.  I wish I could change how you feel about (xyz complaint) but I respect that we have different opinions about this.  It doesn't change how much I value your opinion or how much I care about you. We hope this difference in opinion won't keep you from joining us on our wedding day."

Now all I have to do is memorize these!

Do you have a great reply for these buttinskies? Please share them with us!

Is A Drama Mama Ruining Your Wedding Planning?

We all know drama mamas! And worse yet, as soon as you start to plan a wedding they literally COME OUT OF THE WOODWORK! Every decision you make, a drama mama immediately tells you (and everyone in a ten mile radius) how much you are going to regret a specific decision.  It doesn't matter what the decision is, whether it's to ban children from your wedding or something as simple as ivory invitations instead of white (OK, come on, how big a difference could this POSSIBLY make in the long run?) Drama mamas take every decision you make and turn it into a production worthy of the Metropolitan Opera! 

How can you enjoy planning your wedding more? Stay away from these mamas! (and to make it perfectly clear, these drama mamas aren't limited to your actual mother or your fiance's mother--some of them are your closest friends.) Sometimes you just need to NOT discuss your wedding with these people.  This should be a time you enjoy, not a time you feel you have to defend every decision or have to worry about offending someone you care about by not taking their advice--after all. Remember it is YOUR wedding.  It should reflect what you and your fiance think would make your wedding day memorable and beautiful, not what your best friend thinks you should do. 

How can you avoid getting these drama mamas mad at you? Simply say you want your day to be a surprise for your guests, so you aren't discussing details in advance.  This doesn't have to actually be factual, you may in fact have some people you can discuss your plans with who are supportive of your plans (no matter how bizarre they might seem).  These are the people who want YOU to be happy with your wedding day.

 I have to admit, I stuck my foot in it when a friend took me dress shopping with her and wanted to show me 'THE DRESS.'  After a lot of girlish excitement we got to the bridal salon and she found the dress she wanted to show me.  We headed to the fitting room and she put it on.  OK, now I say this with the greatest love, but WHERE WAS HER TASTE?  The gown literally had tassels--hanging from ...well suffice it to say she looked like a stripper getting married who just couldn't do without her usual costume.  Every movement she made they accented 'the girls.'  I don't know if it was a manufacturing error or if the dress was really made that way, but...tassels...on a wedding gown? 

I was so relieved when the saleswoman came in and said she had just one more dress for my friend to try on--(fortunately a tassel-free dress this time).  When my friend asked me which dress I liked, I KNOW I should have said whichever one she liked best.  But I never could keep my mouth shut.  So I told her the 2nd dress made her look glow.  It accented how much she loved her fiance.  And then I prayed for the goddess of good taste to take over.  Thank goodness it did.

What did I learn?  I really don't want to have ANY say in anyone's dress decisions or about anything for their wedding--I mean suppose she'd worn the tassel dress and said later 'Why didn't you tell me?' Or what if she'd said 'The one thing I regret about my wedding day is that I didn't buy the dress I wanted.'  It's too much responsibility! So if you're going shopping for your wedding gown--please, please leave me at home!  Or better yet, I'll meet you for lunch later and tell you how I can't wait to see your gown--ON your wedding day. 

Do you have a drama mama ruining your wedding planning? Tell us all about it and get it off your chest.  No tassels please!